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Didn’t see that coming

December 19, 2011
By
Austin Panhandler

Austin has a surprising number of panhandlers.  I have four regulars staking out the highway entrance and exit ramps nearest my apartment. My favorite holds a sign reading, “Need Beer” while the saddest has a sign reading, “Even 25 cents helps.” I’ve lived in much larger cities, but few with this sad quantity of beggars. As a single woman, I’ll admit I’m intimidated. Nothing raises the hairs on the back of my neck like walking alone downtown, studiously ignoring a man on the street, only to have him shout, “God gonna rape you inna ass an leave you bleedin...

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60 Weeks in Austin, Week 5: wherein I rediscover insomnia

December 15, 2011
By
Insomnia

After four OK Cupid dates and one speed dating event, this week I had every intention of comparing menfolk in Louisville, Chicago, St. Louis, and Austin. Sadly, I’m entirely distracted from such things by some unfortunate news. My company, which I dearly adore, is letting me and the rest of the staff go. I have an incredibly generous amount...

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No Road Home

December 12, 2011
By
I-35 Austin

There’s a stretch of highway in Louisville that feels exactly like Kansas City.  After five years in Kentucky, I’d still find myself unconsciously switching lanes so I could exit onto a street in another time zone. Several stretches of St. Louis expressways were completely indistinguishable from Cincinnati. There’s a comforting familiarity in knowing how to navigate a strange city...

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60 Weeks in Austin, Week 4: wherein I attempt to personally meet all 1.7 million residents of the metro area

December 8, 2011
By
Meetup

Moving across country alone and telecommuting to work is a great recipe for becoming the crazy woman who never showers and talks to her Roomba. In order to combat that, over the last four weeks I’ve visited 10 Meetup Groups. Meetups in Austin are fascinating. I remember when Meetup was mostly an unhappy mix of grassroots groups supporting Howard...

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60 Weeks in Austin, Week 3: wherein my faith in a federal institution is horribly shattered

December 1, 2011
By
Mail Theft

I call shenanigans. This week, some strangers employed a crowbar to commit a federal offense at my expense. That’s right – the bastards broke into the central mail station for my apartment complex and looted all the boxes. They got my paycheck, a dalek shaped towel my friend Anne sent to decorate my Doctor Who themed bathroom, and a...

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That skank Inanna never has trouble finding a date

November 26, 2011
By
That skank Inanna never has trouble finding a date

Behold, Austin! For lo, I am the bringer of rain. You were parched in anticipation of my arrival, but hark, in my meager three weeks living within your boundaries have I brought the rain thrice. These gifts of fertility and life will fall like happy tears upon your barren soil so long as I am supplied with healthy consorts,...

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Fetid End of the Dating Pool

First Contact: Apples and Honey Edition

It’s time for a special Rosh Hashanah edition of First Contact! Gosh. Who knew the season of atonement and repentance could be so darn...

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